How do we manage after losing one of our close girlfriends/buddy/galpal/BFF – you get it…
How do we really manage?
We as women tend to have this ability to forge beautiful, deep, and meaningful friendships in ways that I think sometimes many males just will never understand. Something this beautiful though, is only missed that much more when there is a loss. You know what! It can make the grieving process a lot more difficult… of course it is easy to for others to tell us that, there are ways you can work through it.
Step-by-step, day by day, remembering all of the amazing things about your friendship, is a major stepping stone. Eventually we have to build that foundation to be able to go on without her and feel happiness again. This should be what the grieving process is about. Where do we turn to get support though? genuine support… Well, I would like to offer some advice on things that will help you grieve in a way that moves you closer to happiness, rather than pushing you further into sadness and depression.
First, let yourself be sad, and feel all of the negative emotions associated with losing someone. But if possible, try to have someone else you are close to, be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.
Bottling up your emotions and avoiding thinking about it by keeping yourself busy or numbing yourself in other ways is really not going to help you move through the grieving process. Let it all sink in but talk to someone about it, make sure you are connecting with someone so that you don’t get too overwhelmed.
Talking to someone else can make all the difference.
Second, focus your thoughts on the positive memories you have about your BFF. Once you’ve allowed yourself to be upset for a few days, make a conscious effort to get rid of sad, negative thoughts you’re having and replace them with the significant happy memories you had together. Visualize these moments as vividly as you can.
You’ll find it difficult to be sad and depressed for long periods if you give yourself the chance to live in these good moments as a means of meditation.
Lastly, we can’t change the loss that has occurred, but we can treasure the past and carry it with us going forward. I have found that creating a keepsake about your loved one and keeping it in a special place to refer to can help you feel you are keeping their memory alive. This also helps in recognizing their importance in your life. Whether it be a photo album or a journal of your shared memories, whatever it is, put your heart and soul into it and end knowing you’ve given your friend a place in your home with you forever.
There’s no magic pill you can take to get through the grieving process and on to the other side to happiness, but I hope this advice will give you some practical ways to start you on your journey.