Getting Back On The Proverbial Horse

Contributor: Ava Marques

Have you ever really considered how difficult dating can truly be for someone who has recently come out of a long term relationship? And before you utter the words “Get back on and ride again” or before any proverbial horses are beaten, you must acknowledge how daunting a task it can be.

After a two year sabbatical post divorce, I decided to thrust myself out into a dating world which proved to be a never ending whirlwind of excitement, frustration and confusion. Not only did I have to deal with the many quirks of the male species such as men, suffering with what I coined as macho-man syndrome and  the numerous “mamas boys” stuck in the bodies of gorgeous hunks; I grappled with finding and reinventing myself and establishing a new identity in this strange, unfamiliar world.


Sitting here writing this article after another disastrous date, I made a conscious decision to document and share some of the personality types of the suitors who have found themselves in the “Dating Disaster Folder.”

Mr. Nice Guy

Don’t be misled by what the name suggests. I am really talking about those guys who portray themselves to be the most patient, loving and sincere person but obviously really use these qualities as a mask to lure you into a false sense of security.

He may be prepared to swiftly get involved with his date’s children knowing this may seal the deal.  Usually after years of research he realizes that if he acts as Mr. Nice Guy, he can get his lady friend to where he wants her.

I am not suggesting that all Mr. Nice Guys are up to dastardly intentions but many use these tactics to seal the deal quickly.


Mr. Know it All

The name speaks for itself. This type of personality believes that he is  the authority on all subjects. No matter what offering you make to the conversation it is received with an “ok” followed by a ‘but.”  Anyone else’s ideas can go to hell in a handbasket.  Conversations are usually lecturer to student style and requires the students to nod her head in agreement just to make the time pass quickly.

Smile and nod is usually my method of dealing with a Mr. Know it All but leaves the poor victim emotionally and mentally exhausted and in need of a drink or a huge tub of ice cream.


Mr. Non-Committal 

In my opinion this is the worst type of guy to date! He is the one who never has a real opinion on any topic or is wary of making decisions. This is the one who you may inquire as to what food he wants to eat and he may respond “Oh, it doesn’t matter; whatever you are having is fine!” The type of guy who never makes plans early in advance because he will “have to see” how things workout.

These guys are most dangerous, because you never get a straight answer about anything therefore it is difficult to know what page he is on. These guys are usually time waster abiding time until they find Miss. Right or the “Hurt Baes” of the world trying not to get their delicate feelings crushed by another.

One thing to note, is that a date can possess ALL of these personality traits  and cycle through them at anyone outing. In the whole scheme of things I guess what I am trying to say is that you must know, what you can live with and remember balance is the key to any successful dating experience.

As for me I guess I will jump back on the horse and ride around until I find a Prince Charming to gallop off into the sunset with.


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