Is My Vagina Broken?

Broken Vagina-What Now? 

Contributor – Ava Marques

A vagina is a beautiful thing! I like to look at it as an ecosystem of delicate checks and balances, a facilitator and giver of life, joy, pleasure- a major representation of womanhood. But what if your vagina becomes broken? What would you do then?

By broken, I mean changes that physically alter what a woman deems as the previous natural functioning. I never realized how many possible things that women can go up against. Of course, we are well aware of the usual suspects like the yeast or bacterial infections, STDs or cancer but how often as a society do we focus on other life changing complications. Conditions such as vaginal or urinary prolapse, endometriosis, PCOS, genital mutilation or other conditions like these which can easily negatively affect how  women perceive themselves in this penis driven society. 

Before today, I had never considered what it would feel like to be broken down there. And as I lay on the Ob/Gyn’s table, legs in stirrups and fanny to the wind I had my first experience with feeling incomplete. My thoughts were merely consumed with whether or not I would pass the whiff test or oddly enough whether the doctor would appreciate my lackluster attempt at a ladyscape. However, I heard words that changed my view of my treasured lady parts: “Did you know your cervix is torn and badly so?I froze.

It must have been from giving birth to my two children, after all, both were products of forceps births. My body went cold. Why didn’t I have this information before? Maybe it could have been fixed. So many questions raced through my mind. How would this affect me in the long run? 

What now?

My first reaction: to consider how it may affect my sex life, my intimacy with my partner or affect my  ability to carry another child to term or even have a vaginal birth, if I chose to venture down that path again. But being the thinker I am, my mind then drifted to other ladies out there who have or who may at some point in time, receive negative news about the state of their vaginas.

Then I remembered I am not alone. 

Coming to Grips with it.

I was scolded by a good friend when I announced “my vagina is broken!” He could not understand my use of the term. In my mind I questioned: Why can a finger, a car, a toy or even a penis be broken? Giving rise to a great measure of concern to the parties involved, but why then did this seem like a far fetched concept for him? Are women not allowed to feel the grief of brokenness too!

Why are these ladies’ issues not acknowledged and discussed with the same vigor as concerns related to men’s erectile dysfunction? 

The Good News

Broken things can be fixed! In my battle with coming to terms with the changes in my body, I quickly realised that the struggle I am having is more of an emotional state. But, the good news is women no longer have to struggle alone in silence. Modern medicine has come a long way with medical interventions which can assist with physical trauma. And as for the emotional despair of feeling broken, that too can be addressed with the help from professionals and support from loved ones who care enough to give the time to grieve without judgement.

The onus is also on society to be armed with knowledge concerning women’s health issues and rally around our women with support.