The 5 Reasons That He May Be Reluctant

5 Things He is Reluctant to Tell You Before He Commits

Article By: Ava Marques 

Imagine being given five minutes to snoop around in Mr. Right’s head. Finally a chance to find out what he is really thinking about you and your budding relationship. Is he planning to stick around? Does he think of you as a keeper? 

On investigating this topic I decided to call up some of my closest guy friends to see if I could get the scoop into what a man is most reluctant to tell his lady before fully committing. Here’s what they had to say.

He Ain’t Rich Honey!

Do you remember all of those times he wined and dined you and showered you with expensive gifts? Well, he is worried that he isn’t able to sustain this lifestyle. He sees himself as a provider and has difficulty committing if he is not financially stable or at least has a financial plan which he believes will be successful. So his concern is beyond whether his credit card gets rejected while on a date but extends to the long term, where he wonders if he can provide a home with the white picket fence and the financial security that he believes that every woman is dreaming of.

Dexter (Married): “It took me an entire year of off and on dating before I finally committed to Sarah. I was fresh out of college and working in a startup company. I lived paycheck to paycheck. I was concerned that I couldn’t take care of my lady.”

Bringing Home the Good Bacon!

Financial stability and independence are extremely important to a man, so if he does not make more money than you he may feel a sense of inadequacy! I know! I know! Shocking for the 21st Century, especially after progress in gender equality.

The truth is that some men still have issues with the fact that his lady earns more than he does. It isn’t that he isn’t happy for her success.

It revolves more so that some men’s egos are still very much attached to the weight of their pockets! He may secretly detest the idea of his queen taking on most of  the financial burden.  Psychologically, it may lead to a feeling of inferiority and feeling less of a man.

Peter (Divorced): I would never date a woman who has her own home or makes more money than I do, especially now that I am starting over. I think I should be the provider and if I cannot do this I prefer to be alone.”

We Ain’t That Heartless Babe!

Just because he appears unemotional, does not mean that he does not have feelings.  For sure, your man wants you to know this! His ability to hold in the tears during the mushy parts of a romantic comedy is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of his emotional restraint. 

Unfortunately, many men have been brainwashed by society that crying or acting vulnerable is a big NO!  Ladies, maybe this is why during a disagreement he may not seem too fazed or readily available to communicate his displeasure. This does not mean  that he is emotionally aloof rather that he has just had plenty of time to hone in on his ability to compartmentalize until he is ready to process and respond on his own terms.

Bryan (Dating): Sometimes I don’t think that women get that we (men) have feelings too! If they did, they would never say half of the things that they say to us! Trying to belittle me is never a good idea. It really hurts!

Afraid to Lose!

No sane man sets out to disappoint his lady! Why?  Maybe he understands the adage ” A happy wife is equal to a happy life! ” Slipping up in some way is inevitable but when it occurs he may be quietly worried that he has done irreversible damage. He doesn’t want to lose her and is concerned that his punishment for screwing up is being banished from his lady’s side or worse driving her into the arms of another man.

Mark (Single):My ex used to break up with me every other week for petty stuff. Whenever this happened I would freak out in private. I hated the thought of living without her and the uncertainty of when she would actually cut me from her life for good.” 

You Aren’t Really the One!

Being in a relationship with the woman of his dreams would be any man’s perfect scenario. But what if he was just with her because she checked off a few things on his must have list?   As a result of a history of bad luck with previous relationships, he has taken the position to commit to his lady just because she is the closest thing to what he perceives as a safe choice.

I am quite sure that his “boys” would think that he is looney to be actually thinking about it or admitting this aloud. 

Steve (Engaged): “When I met Julie, I instantly knew she was not the type of girl I thought I would end up with. She is lacking in many areas but  I know she has my best interest at heart and is always ready to do anything to keep me happy. And after many heartbreaks from my usual ‘type’ what man in his right mind would turn down a girl like her. I am willing to grow to appreciate her for how she treats me.” 

The Verdict 

Okay! Ladies, before you get your knickers in a knot, I must declare that these revelations may or may not represent the thoughts of your man. From my personal standpoint however, I can say that it has given me a new perspective on what some guys think about and what’s going in some of those handsome heads.