And Making Sure You Never Become Her
Article by: Diara Springer
She’s been in the office longer than the photocopier. She’s watched you walk in with your energy, your ideas, and something behind her eyes has shifted. You know the look. It’s the one that says “why her?” — and sweetgirl, it has nothing to do with you.
Welcome to the Jealous Older Woman.
She exists in every workplace, friendship group, and family WhatsApp chat. She’s the one who subtly undermines your wins, delivers compliments with a little scorpion tail attached, and seems personally offended that you exist and are thriving. It stings.
However before you spiral, let’s talk about what’s actually going on, and how to handle it without losing your grace.
First: Don’t make it a war…
She wants a reaction.
Specifically, she wants you rattled. The absolute worst thing you can do is shrink yourself to make her comfortable, or worse, take the bait and fire back. Hold your ground, stay warm, and keep it professional. You don’t have to be her best friend.
You just have to be unbothered.
Second: Have some compassion – Yes! Really!!
She didn’t wake up one day and decide to be resentful. Somewhere along the way, she stopped being chosen. For the promotion. The relationship. The spotlight. Nobody coached her on aging in a world that discards women on an aggressive timeline.
Her bitterness isn’t about you!!! It’s grief wearing a nasty outfit. Understanding that doesn’t mean tolerating bad behaviour.
It just means you don’t have to take it personally.
Third: Protect your energy like it’s your rent money.
Limit the access she has to your wins, your vulnerabilities, and your self-doubt. You don’t owe her a front-row seat to your life. Keep your joy close, your ambitions closer, and your conversations with her surface-level.
Now the most important part: Don’t become her!!!
This is the real lesson she’s teaching you – by negative example.
When a younger woman walks into the room glowing with potential, you will one day have a choice. You can feel threatened, or you can be the woman who says “come sit with me.”
You can hoard your hard-won wisdom, or you can pass it on. You can be the woman who was never helped, or the one who decided that stopped with her.
Age is coming for all of us. What you do with it, and who you choose to be when the world stops fawning over your newness – that’s the actual glow-up.
Don’t just cope with her. Learn from her…and then, do the opposite. Because the best revenge is becoming the older woman everyone actually looks up to.
About The Author: Diara Springer – is an award-winning writer and theatre practitioner whose work centers bold, boundary-pushing storytelling. She is the host of an upcoming podcast celebrating the Caribbean and its people, launching on all major streaming platforms on April 1st, 2026.
